GLIMMERS OF INSIGHT
... Did ‘having it all‘ really
mean having someone special
to share it (by sharing your
life) with? + if there was no
one, did that mean still having
to kind of sit there, waiting
for one‘s real + meaningful
life to start, sort of, until
they‘d finally come around?
Scrutinising herself in
a truly honest manner,
she could neither run nor hide
from the mere, ugly truth, that
for her marriage was mostly
‘bout achieving a mile stone,
which meant having to admit
that she did care more about
the practical + social
win of getting married +
(following a specific
trajectory, according
to very specific rules)
‘bout fulfilling her long held
fantasy of finally
finding ‘the one‘ than about
actually forming a deep,
genuinely meaningful
relationship with someone,
who wasn‘t + wouldn‘t ever
be who she‘d expected to
fall in love with when she did
(apart from the fact that, well,
every partner basically
is chosen ‘cause they fulfill
a certain fantasy, we‘re
busy to project on them...)
or might probably even
be the exact opposite
of everything she once thought
she wanted + needed in
a partner in fact, you know...
(CMH)
mean having someone special
to share it (by sharing your
life) with? + if there was no
one, did that mean still having
to kind of sit there, waiting
for one‘s real + meaningful
life to start, sort of, until
they‘d finally come around?
Scrutinising herself in
a truly honest manner,
she could neither run nor hide
from the mere, ugly truth, that
for her marriage was mostly
‘bout achieving a mile stone,
which meant having to admit
that she did care more about
the practical + social
win of getting married +
(following a specific
trajectory, according
to very specific rules)
‘bout fulfilling her long held
fantasy of finally
finding ‘the one‘ than about
actually forming a deep,
genuinely meaningful
relationship with someone,
who wasn‘t + wouldn‘t ever
be who she‘d expected to
fall in love with when she did
(apart from the fact that, well,
every partner basically
is chosen ‘cause they fulfill
a certain fantasy, we‘re
busy to project on them...)
or might probably even
be the exact opposite
of everything she once thought
she wanted + needed in
a partner in fact, you know...
(CMH)