The Killer within
YOU killed me
I'm dead
are you happy now
at last
WHY
Whose talking you might ask
you don't know me
then how can i accuse you
you might think
YOU'RE the enemy
because i am different
you say
you think you have the right to judge me
to treat me like a FREAK
BUT am i that much different ?
is it really about me ?
OR is it you ?
is it you who is afraid that i might question everything
you took for granted
that i make you uncomforable about youself ?
about so many diffrent things
Gender
Sex
Sexual Orientation
Sexual Practices
Ethnicity
Race
Class
Religion
of course i could go on ...
an on ...
an on...
i could never finish that list in my lifetime
oh pardon me i forgot
I'm dead
because ....
everytime i wake up
every morning
all i can see
is
Enemy
Can you imagine that ?
do you feel it too ?
that the world around YOU is
CRUEL
the world
a funny word
don't you think ?
so very abstract
but what i really mean with it is
YOU
afterall you're part of it
and i
cannot longer tolerate that YOU
blame society, the world , life or another abstact word
for my DEATH
but it's easier that way
so you can hide
placate you conscious
because
afterall you didn't know , didn't mean
of couse it wasn't your fault
was it ?
you can fool yourself
but no me
i am accusing you of murder
why
because
you cut me
you beat me
you burned me
you made me bleed
you made me beg
you made me cringe
everytime
you looked with distain in your eyes at me
you pointed your finger at me
you whispered
you laughed at me
you made a joke about me
you turned your back at me
you saw my fear and enjoyed it
you turned away when i needed you
you didn't act up
you didn't fight for me
it was your choice
would it be too much if i told you
that
in reality i didn't kill myself
but
you handed me the pills
you started the car to suffocate me
you shot me
you drowned me in the bathtub
you pushed me off the building
you handed me the knife
would it be ?
Is that answer enough
why
i am dead
why
i committed suicide
is it ?
Can you sleep at night now
knowing
why i did it ?
Does it now make all sense to you ?
Please don't feel guilty
because
we are the same
you and me
because
I hate
I despise
I fear
I don't understand
You
too !
And yet
I
tried
so hard
to understand
why
you did all the things you did
did you ?
try ?
i
did
but i couldn't
find the answer
i tried
to hide
to become invisible
a ghost
not to break
not to give in to you
but i'm not a phoenix
oh i burnded
but i couln't rise
i burnded everytime i faced
the Enemy
the world
Everyday
You
but all what is left of me now
is ash
Music:
Blaine Larson - how do you get that lonely ( my entry is mainly a response to that song )
Manic Street Preachers - Suicide Is Painless
I'm dead
are you happy now
at last
WHY
Whose talking you might ask
you don't know me
then how can i accuse you
you might think
YOU'RE the enemy
because i am different
you say
you think you have the right to judge me
to treat me like a FREAK
BUT am i that much different ?
is it really about me ?
OR is it you ?
is it you who is afraid that i might question everything
you took for granted
that i make you uncomforable about youself ?
about so many diffrent things
Gender
Sex
Sexual Orientation
Sexual Practices
Ethnicity
Race
Class
Religion
of course i could go on ...
an on ...
an on...
i could never finish that list in my lifetime
oh pardon me i forgot
I'm dead
because ....
everytime i wake up
every morning
all i can see
is
Enemy
Can you imagine that ?
do you feel it too ?
that the world around YOU is
CRUEL
the world
a funny word
don't you think ?
so very abstract
but what i really mean with it is
YOU
afterall you're part of it
and i
cannot longer tolerate that YOU
blame society, the world , life or another abstact word
for my DEATH
but it's easier that way
so you can hide
placate you conscious
because
afterall you didn't know , didn't mean
of couse it wasn't your fault
was it ?
you can fool yourself
but no me
i am accusing you of murder
why
because
you cut me
you beat me
you burned me
you made me bleed
you made me beg
you made me cringe
everytime
you looked with distain in your eyes at me
you pointed your finger at me
you whispered
you laughed at me
you made a joke about me
you turned your back at me
you saw my fear and enjoyed it
you turned away when i needed you
you didn't act up
you didn't fight for me
it was your choice
would it be too much if i told you
that
in reality i didn't kill myself
but
you handed me the pills
you started the car to suffocate me
you shot me
you drowned me in the bathtub
you pushed me off the building
you handed me the knife
would it be ?
Is that answer enough
why
i am dead
why
i committed suicide
is it ?
Can you sleep at night now
knowing
why i did it ?
Does it now make all sense to you ?
Please don't feel guilty
because
we are the same
you and me
because
I hate
I despise
I fear
I don't understand
You
too !
And yet
I
tried
so hard
to understand
why
you did all the things you did
did you ?
try ?
i
did
but i couldn't
find the answer
i tried
to hide
to become invisible
a ghost
not to break
not to give in to you
but i'm not a phoenix
oh i burnded
but i couln't rise
i burnded everytime i faced
the Enemy
the world
Everyday
You
but all what is left of me now
is ash
Music:
Blaine Larson - how do you get that lonely ( my entry is mainly a response to that song )
Manic Street Preachers - Suicide Is Painless