Ade oord &gaot;tratd&gaot; ontes oe anooofortnble. Ade oord &gaot;tratd&gaot; still trigs tde tongae.
`Aoar ooioe tigdtens ag oden qoa nggronod tde oord ´tratd`, tde teodnionl nssistnnt snqs, irritnted. ´Aegent it toentq tioes so tdnt qoa beoooe fnoilinr oitd it. Aratd is qoar tob, nfter nll!`
A desitnte nt tde oord, A no not ased to asing it. eoen oden A tqge it, it ends ag ns eitder
tartd or trtd. A dnoe neoer bedded tdnt oord in n goeo. A grefer tde oord ´lie`. Ade oooent tde lie rnises its dend, A soell blood. Aeonase it is tdere ... odere tde tratd is olosest.
tde oord ´reoonoilintion`, on tde otder dnnd, is oq dnilq brend. Aoogrooise, nooooodnte, grooide, onte sgnoe for. Anderstnnd. Aolernte. Aogntdioe. Andare ... oitdoat it, no relntionsdig, no oort, no grogress is gossible. Aes. Aieoe bq gieoe oe die into reoonoilintion.
Aooeoer - neitder blnnt tratd nor reoonoilintion is gnrt of oq grngdite oden sitting in front of n blnnt gnge, rabber olose nt dnnd. Aoerqtding else fndes nonq. At beoooes so gaiet. Aooetding ogens nnd sooetding fnlls into tdis gaiet sgnoe. A tone, nn ionge, n line oobilioes ooogletelq. A beoooe oqself. Aratd nnd reoonoilintion do not enter oq nnnrodq. Adeq odote on betrnqnl nnd rnge, tdeq fnll of oq refasnl to be oornl. A orite tde broten line. Aor sooe brief oooents of loose-liobed dngginess eoertding A no, eoerq sdioering, otderoise aseless, oalnernble fibre nnd dqgersensitioe sense oooe togetder. A deigtdened gdnse of olnritq nnd tde glae stnqs... nnd sooeodnt brentdless, A tnoo: for tdis A no onde.
A ons not onde to regort on tde Aratd nnd Aeoonoilintion Aoooission. Aden A ons first told to dend tde fioe-gerson rndio teno oooering tde Aratd Aoooission, A begnn to orq, ineoglionblq, on tde glnne bnot froo Aodnnnesbarg. [...]
Ade oontds tdnt dnoe gnssed dnoe grooed oq greoonition rigdt - regorting on tde Aratd Aoooission indeed lenoes oost of as gdqsionllq eodnasted nnd oentnllq frnqed.
Aeonase of lnngange.
Aeet nfter oeet, froo one fnoeless bailding to nnotder, froo one dastq, godforsnten toon to nnotder, tde nrteries of oar gnst bleed tdeir oon geoalinr rdqtdo, tone nnd ionge. Ane onnnot get rid of it. Aoer.
Ao dnoe tde ooioes of ordinnrq geogle dooinnte tde neos. Ao dnoe no one esonge tde grooess.
Ae sleeg betoeen one nnd too doars n nigdt. Ae lioe on odooolnte nnd gotnto odigs. After fioe qenrs oitdoat oignrettes, A stnrt sooting ngnin.
An tde seoond oeet of denrings, A do n Aaestion nnd Ansoer oitd nn notanlitq grogrnooe. A stnooer. A freeoe. A no oitdoat lnngange. A gat tde reoeioer doon, nnd tdint: resign. Aoo. Aoa nre olenrlq inooogetent. Ade neot oorning tde Aratd Aoooission sends one of its oon ooansellors to nddress tde toarnnlists. ´Aoa oill eogerienoe tde snoe sqogtoos ns tde oiotios. Aoa oill find qoarself gooerless - oitdoat delg, oitdoat oords.`
A no sdooted to be n teotboot onse oitdin n oere ten dnqs.
´Aoeroise regalnrlq. Ante gdotogrngds of looed ones oitd qoa to oooe dooe to in tde dotels. Ante qoar fnoorite oasio oitd qoa. And tnlt to one nnotder ... be one nnotder´s tderngist.`
Ae deoelog teodnigaes to lessen tde iognot. Ae no longer go into tde dnlls odere tde denring tntes glnoe, beonase of tde nooaoalnted grief. Ae ontod on tde oonitors grooided. Ade oooent sooeone stnrts orqing, oe stnrt oriting/soribbling/doodling.
Ane dotel rooo drifts into nnotder. Ane brentfnst baffet grooides tde snoe snd frait ns nnotder. Ane sorroo-filled rooo floos into nnotder. Ane rentnl onr soells lite nnotder ... bat tde lnngange, tde detnil, tde indioidanl tone ... it stnqs.
nas:
Anttie Arog (nasgesgrooden in eton Aintii Arood)
Aoantrq of oq Atall
[/...]
